This is the question a lot of men are wondering and we are here to provide an answer. We conducted a study in which 1000 women answered our questions to get to the bottom of this question: what women like in men. We gave five alternatives and each woman could pick three options out of the five. Note that this is not an in-depth study with 100´s of thousands of participants or a scientifically approved study method. This was our company asking women which options they prefer. However, it gives us direction and guidance on what commonly women prefer in men.
To make things interesting, we made the 1000 women answer twice; once with a long-term relationship in mind and once with a short-term relationship in mind. This way we can compare the results and see if there are any large discrepancies.
We will also explain the alternatives more and see how you can be better within each of those categories.
Long-term:
Now as we can see, personality was picked by women the most at 92,8% with public behavior coming last at 34,3%. Interestingly appearance comes second to personality rather than the other way around. If you want to land a relationship with a woman and make it last, you might want to keep this chart in mind!
Short-term:
The appearance took the majority of votes this time with weight and height, and attractive presence coming second and third respectively. Personality seems to have little meaning for women who seek short-term relationships.
Now, let's take a look at what these options represent and how to rank higher in women's eyes in each of them.
Personality
Personality is the most important criteria out of the five when looking for a long-term relationship. One might wonder if their personality can be improved and how. We've listed a few things you can do to have a "better" personality.
1. Take a test
Test and see what type of personality you have. The test is free and takes about 10 minutes.
There are a lot of different types of personalities. Some work together extremely well and some don't work at all. Theoretically, all personalities can be divided into intro- (I) vs extraverted (E), sensing (S) vs intuition (N), thinking (T) vs feeling (F), and judging (J) vs perceiving (P). Your personality will be a combination of four letters from any of these pairs. By doing the quick test, you get a better picture of what your personality looks like on paper. Also, you can easily compare your results to see which personalities match with you the best.
Once you've completed the test, you can view personality compatibilities here.
2. Remember to be positive
Everyone enjoys being around positive people. Happiness spreads easily and by being happy, the people with you are more likely to be happy as well. You don't need to be extremely happy all the time, just try to see the positive side and smile once in a while.
3. Do what you like
By doing what you are interested in, you will seem more passionate on the outside. You will also have more things to talk about with people. If you like movies, watch them. If you like photography, take pictures. It's as simple as that. If you like to do it, you will like to talk about it as well.
Likewise, be interested in what other people like to do and ask them about it. It doesn't matter what type of personality you initially have - if you can discuss her interests she will find you more likable.
4. Have manners and be yourself
Having manners is very important. No matter where you're from and where you are going, it never hurts to have manners. Be polite and do not insult others on purpose. Good behavior can take you far when it comes to building new relationships. Remember that personality is not tied to not having manners. If you learn gentleman-like behavior, you are still you only with better manners. It's also important to realize that you shouldn't try to hide who you are.
To learn more about good manners, read our in-depth guide.
Appearance
Appearance ranks second (73,2%) in the long-term, and first (91,4%) in the short-term chart, making it the most important overall category on our list. Take a look at our tips on how to improve your appearance below.
1. Take a look in the mirror
Take a good look in the mirror and see what, in your opinion, should change. A big part of appearance is confidence. If you like what you see in the mirror and are happy with how you look, you will be more confident in public. Also, most of us can't look like Brad Pitt, so be realistic with what you can change about yourself. Here are a few examples that commonly need a slight enhancement:
- Get a new haircut
- Shave your facial hair
- Get enough sleep (8h/night) to avoid dark circles around eyes
- Shower frequently
- Take a look at your diet - eat more unsaturated fats, fibers and protein, fewer carbohydrates and saturated fats
- Exercise at least once a week
2. Dive into your style
Style and dressing play a big part in your appearance. If you are always wearing the same worn-out shirt and pants, it might be a great time to find new style inspiration and update your wardrobe.
Accessories are also important when it comes to style. If you want to specify your style and separate yourself from others, accessories should be included in your every outfit. It is important to avoid over-accessorizing and only use a few pieces to enhance your look.
See the best men's accessories right now or shop our affordable accessories here. (Free worldwide shipping)
3. First impressions count
According to Business Insider, studies indicate that even our photographs count as a first impression and, whether you like it or not, people will judge you by your pictures.
First impressions are made within the first few seconds of meeting and the impressions are then strengthened during the upcoming few minutes. Making a good first impression can leave a permanent mark and help build a good foundation for a relationship. Be confident, dress accordingly, smile and pay attention to the other person. Read this article to learn more about making a good first impression.
Attractive Presence
On both charts, attractive presence landed on the third spot. This means it is an important attribute in both, long- and short-term relationships. Being attractive visually and having an attractive self-presentation is not the same thing. There are a lot of things you should and shouldn't do. We are going to keep it simple and list a few things you should and shouldn't do to appear attractive. By following this easy checkmark list you should be able to straighten out the biggest curves that define your presence.
Don'ts:
- Closed body language such as closed arms or tensed shoulders
- Keeping neck down and face towards the chest (bad posture)
- Extremely fast movements
- Seeming too drunk (when drinking)
- Looking depressed
- Losing attention while talking or listening
Dos:
- Be as relaxed and confident as possible
- Slow and steady movements (looks like you are in control of things)
- Open body language, keep your chin up and keep arms away from the chest
- Make and keep eye contact
- Think before you talk
- Make physical contact by gently touching her hand while talking to bring you more closer mentally
- Take space to look more approachable
- Find as many similarities as possible during a conversation to build rapport
Height And Weight
While a man's height and weight didn't rank as high on the long-term scale (4th), it did achieve a score of 77,3% (2nd) on the short-term chart. We can all agree that there is not much a man can do to be better built. It pretty much comes down to the genes you got from your parents. Let's take a look at what we know about these two indicators and how you can be the best you with your height and weight.
Height
A common belief is that the taller you are, the better you have it with the ladies. While this argument might have some truth to it, it certainly does not restrain shorter men in any way.
Studies indicate that tall men have it easier, at least initially:
"A greater height difference in a couple was positively related to the wife's happiness. This relationship gradually weakened over time and entirely dissipated by 18 years of marital duration. The husband's resourcefulness was a minor mediator in the relationship. We thus argue that the husband's height and its correlates made his wife initially happy, but their influence waned over time."
There you have it! According to the studies, the meaning of height diminishes over time in a relationship. You shouldn't worry about being too short, or too tall for that matter. Make amends with your height and enjoy life, knowing that height does not play a major role in the long-run. If you want to be taller, wear shoes with higher heels (yes, there are heels for men as well), or fix your posture to look a bit more elevated.
After all, most women seem to like men who are taller than they are. If you are taller, or even the same height, as your date, your height is not a problem, but a perk.
Weight
There are a lot of things that you can do to keep your weight in check or lose a couple of pounds if necessary. Let's see a few of the most common easy tricks to manage your weight:
1. Drink a lot of water.
Drinking water helps cleaning your metabolic system and boosts it by up to 30% according to research. It also keeps your hunger away a bit longer, making you burn more calories directly from your body rather than from foods in your stomach.
2. Eat green leafy vegetables.
Yes! And the more the better. One cup of spinach contains 23,2 calories vs one cup of rice contains 130 calories. When you consume foods that are low in calories and high in fibers and nutrients, you will lose weight fast. Try to have some vegetables on the side of your plate every day.
3. Eat less refined carbohydrates.
Pasta, white bread, and sugar are among the most commonly consumed refined carbs. Studies say they are also strongly linked to obesity. We are not saying you should completely stop eating refined carbs, but try to avoid bulking up your meals with them.
4. Stay active.
Try to exercise 1-4 times a week to keep your muscles active. It helps to keep your metabolism going faster and you burn more calories during rest time as well. After exercising, you will feel happier and relaxed.
5. Get enough sleep.
There are a large number of benefits in sleeping enough, better brain function, clearer skin, and stronger immunity to mention few. Sleeping at least 7-8 hours is one of the corner pieces for well-being and keeping your weight under control. Sleep deprivation is also linked to obesity in children and adults, according to recent studies.
Public Behavior
Public behavior is the fifth factor in long-term (34,3%) relationships and fourth (43,8%) in short-term relationships. Public behavior includes your behavior outside your apartment as well as internet behavior and social media. It affects how others perceive you. Men with good public behavior are commonly referred to as gentlemen. Although many might think that it doesn't matter how you behave in public, just as long as you don't do anything stupid, our study suggests the contrary. Also, what you do on social media can act as an indicator of what you are like in real life. Just like we covered earlier, people will judge you even from your photos.
Good public behavior consists of many things. We will cover the most common and basic rules for good public behavior. If you want to learn more, check out this article on how to be a gentleman.
Basic rules of good public behavior:
- Always let women and elderly people go first.
- When in closed space (elevator, public transportation, etc.) avoid speaking loudly and don't speak to others unless you're spoken to. People usually like to keep to themselves.
- Don't use your phone when with people, dining, or during conversations.
- When splitting the bill: friends split evenly, in business meetings the inviter pays, and during dates, you should always offer to pay.
- Always flush and wash your hands after you´re done in the bathroom.
- Don't argue publicly, even over the phone.
- When walking in the city, walk evenly and don't slouch or people walking behind you get frustrated. And trust us, people get frustrated easily.
For now, thanks for reading!
Suggested reading
Summer 2024: Best Men's Accessories For Summer Styles
Top 20 Popular Green Ties For Men Today
