The Best Investment You Will Ever Make Is In Yourself
Have you ever wondered how to act properly in certain situations? Have you ever seen an average looking man who seems to attract a lot of attention from girls, even when he is not trying?
Being a gentleman is something you can't learn from school. One might think to be a gentleman you need to wear suits, carry a briefcase and have a steady six-figure salary. Well, my friend, this is not the case. You don't need to be rich or even own a suit. There's much more to it than that. So, we are here to guide you through a few unwritten principles to help you better understand how you can be a gentleman as well.
1. Grooming and showering
First things first, make sure you take a shower and groom yourself before heading out to the public. Wash your hair and body, shave, or if you prefer having a beard, make sure it is clean cut and smells nice. Trim any nose hair that is visible outside your nose. Cut your finger- and toenails. Make sure your skin looks healthy all around. We would recommend using a facial soap and combining it with a cream, emulsion or a gel for your face after the shower.
Afterwards, use deodorant and cologne. Deodorant is used for your armpits only to block the sweat and possible bad smell during and after the day. Cologne is there to bring out the good smell and to last until the end of the day.
Tip: When using cologne, spray your neck area once or twice and your left or right inner-wrist once. Then tap your wrists together lightly. Let it sit for 15-30 minutes before heading out. This way it seems as it is your natural smell rather than a bucket of cologne poured on you.
Make sure your hair is not all over the place after the shower. A fresh haircut helps with the issue a lot. When getting a haircut, one rule of thumb with men is to cut off the hair parts that are covering your ears. You can easily do this at home if you have a regular hair trimmer, or even with plain kitchen scissors. Furthermore, consider using something to style your hair to keep it in place. E.g. pastes, clays and waxes are great choices to create more hold and shape into your hair.
2. Clothing and accessorizing
After showering, your first problem is deciding what to wear. Depending on your upcoming event, you might want to consider wearing something suitable for that specific event. However, if you are going on a date, pass with the suits and sweatpants, and go for the smart casual or casual look. Dressing too formally might make the girl feel like she's underdressed for the date, and a gentleman would never make a girl feel uncomfortable during a date.
A smart casual outfit makes it look like you put effort into yourself while simultaneously not giving the picture that you try too hard. Also, a casual outfit makes you more approachable. This is definitely an advantage for you as it takes the pressure off of the meeting and makes it very easy for the girl to talk with you.
Tip: When in a hurry, avoid looking underdressed and unprepared by having a few go-to outfits. A nice pair of shoes, straight pants, a plain t-shirt and a few accessories (e.g. a bracelet and a watch) will go a long way.
Always make sure the clothes you are wearing fit you properly. The shirt should not be too big or too small for you just as much as your shoes shouldn't be too large for your feet. This is very important in order for you to look sharp and elegant. To look great with clothes on, you should eat healthy (diverse diet with high protein, plenty carbohydrates, and unsaturated fats) and workout (1-3 times a week weight training and cardio). Healthy diet and training will also give you an immediate energy boost and you will feel better about yourself. However, do not expect to see lasting results after a week of training and healthy eating. Remember, the biggest change happens with time over consistent effort.
As for the colors for your outfit, try combining one color pants with one color shirt at first. If you are unsure of what color combinations fit you best, stick with classic white to black greyscale and brown colors. This way your outfit will look whole.
Tip: Best looks often have darker colored trousers than the shirt color. E.g. blue jeans and a white t-shirt.
Accessorizing comes as a part of the outfit creation process. Always try to use at least one accessory. Whether it's a watch, a bracelet, or a necklace it makes the outfit seem complete with very little effort. If the accessory is something you often wear or if it has a special meaning to you, it can be a good conversation topic as well. If you don't have any accessories you can wear, go ahead and check out our very affordable selection of the best men's accessories online.
3. Body language and self-representation
Now that you know how to dress and what outfits suit you the best, let's have a look at how your behavior should look like. Body language and good manners play a major role in how you are seen by people you meet and are involved with. A gentleman is always aware of his surroundings, takes the high road even when others will not, and is polite and respectful towards everyone around him.
The First Impression
The first impression plays a big role when meeting new people. What most people do not realize, is that the impression you give of yourself during the first 20 seconds, and furthermore during the first meeting in full, tends to last. You can do a lot with a good posture (chin up, straight back and shoulders on your sides rather than hunching them forward), a firm handshake (a solid grip but not too hard and eye contact during handshake), and clear articulation.
Confidence is something a lot of people look up to. Try to be as confident as you can about yourself. It helps if you are happy with yourself and know what you are going to do with your life for the next few years. You should always know what your options in life are for the next few years. You don't necessarily need to be 100% sure about the road you are traveling, but it's a major boost in your confidence to know your possibilities. Read our article on how to make a great first impression.
Tip: To be a happy and confident person, start off by keeping your decisions. When you decide something, do it. Start off with little things and go from there. Only when you're able to keep your own decisions, you're able to keep promises made to other people.
Conversations are something a gentleman needs to be able to handle. Have a few topics, that you know something about, on hand. The more topics you have, the better. Always be ready to learn more about any topic and always be prepared to tell a little about yourself. A gentleman avoids drawing too much attention to him during a conversation and respectfully asks for others opinions.
Always take into account who you are talking with. You never know the history of a newly met person. Avoid taking a really strict opinion on religious, historical, war and money-related topics. Some people might not have things as good as others and some might get offended by a different religion supporter. A gentleman needs to be able to respect that and stick to common topics until he learns more about the other person.
Tip: During a conversation, be passionate about the topic. A gentleman is always interested to hear more and tell more. Be prepared to tell stories from your life related to the topic and always ask questions to learn more from the other person. You will instantly seem to be a much more interesting person and women will be more attracted to you.
In case you are meeting someone over dinner or lunch, a gentleman will always offer to pay for the dinner in full if he is the one who invited the other person to come. When eating with company, always remember to follow good table manners;
- Always use fork in left, and knife in right hand while eating
- Start your meal the same time as others
- Do not put elbows on the table while eating
- Keep your elbows by your side and do not spread them to take space while eating
- When pouring more drink to yourself, always ask if others want more as well. If yes, fill up their glasses before yours
- Do not stuff your mouth with food. A good rule of thumb is to always be able to say your own name, even with food in your mouth
- Chew with your mouth closed and do not talk while chewing
- If you don't like the food but it's already in your mouth, take a napkin and gently spit the food inside the napkin and put the napkin next to your plate. Do not make a scene out of it
- Wait for everyone on the table to be finished with their food before saying thank you
- Always say thank you for the food
Now that's a lot of rules to follow! You are not always required to follow these by the dot, but it's good to know them when going to a formal dinner. However, following these basic guidelines are a must for a true gentleman. Think about it, the girl of your dreams just invited you over to her parents for a dinner and, to impress her parents, you want to give the best possible picture of yourself. By following the list above, you will look more educated and sophisticated.
If you are meeting someone at their place (job interview, co-worker, a new friend, a girl you are dating) a gentleman will follow their lead. They sit, you sit. They stand, you stand. They drink wine, you drink wine. Mimicking the person you are with will make them like you more. A gentleman knows to be reasonable with the mimicking and to not overdo it.
Tip: When the person you are meeting asks you "what would you like to drink?" Instead of saying water or wine, answer "I'll have whatever you are having".
To leave a positive and lasting image of yourself, try to have one or two go-to stories from your life where something funny happened. When meeting people, telling these stories will lighten the mood and make you more relatable as a person. Also, try to smile as much as possible during conversations to keep the flow positive.
Avoid everything that is considered nasty; spitting, farting, burping, crotch grabbing and picking your nose. Cursing is an exception. During your story, using one or two curse words to emphasize a point brings attention to you and makes your story more fun to listen to. However, avoid excessive cursing as it makes you seem less intelligent. One to two curse words is the maximum limit. A gentleman knows when and how to curse and when to keep his mouth shut.
Tip: One bad action can crash your image in an instant. Always think before doing.
Getting offended during a conversation is something that happens from time to time. When it happens to you, try not to make a scene out of it and subtly change the subject if possible. This way you avoid heated arguments and maintain your posture, leaving a more positive image of yourself.
A Perfect Gentleman
No one is perfect. It is hard to follow every rule and law ever made, but then again, that is not what being a gentleman is about. It's about being respectful and polite to everyone around you. Following basic principles like not talking bad about your family or your girlfriend to people outside your inner circle. Not smelling like the sewer system of your local town. Taking others into account and listening to them.
Think about setting an example for everyone affected by your life. Make sure to treat others as you would like to be treated. Even, if it sometimes means taking the high road. A man is only as good as his actions, and gentlemen represent the men who belong in the top tier in this category. Anyone can be a gentleman if they put their mind to it and try hard enough.